well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
