what day is it and did you see me today?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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