But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
