I cut my penus on the lid.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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