You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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