More tranny stories later!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
