You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize