my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize