ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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