Dual....:-)
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
