Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
