Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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