honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
