I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
