All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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