Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
