Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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