that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
