ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
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I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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