i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
