you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
