that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize