He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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