My room smells like vodka and shame
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
