If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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