I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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