I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
