My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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