Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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