we have officially lost it.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
