Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
