Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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