Yo dont text me then not text me
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
