Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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