No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
