He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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