I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
