i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
