By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
