If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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