No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
