Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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