my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My vagina is very pro this idea
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