I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
