uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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