I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
