So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
