Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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