nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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