Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
