you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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