Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
