I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
