i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
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