It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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